Weekend Recap

ThursdayMy weekends really start on Thursday because I get off work 8am and dont have to go back in until Sunday night. I had my doctors opt and everything was good. I now weigh 171.2 pounds which means I gained a little over 8 pounds within 21 days (not cool), but overall the whole visit was good I'm growing like I'm supposed to be and baby Marlan has a nice strong heartbeat. For the rest of the day we just really relaxed. Friday

25weeksToday makes it 2 years 8 months since I have been with Marlan, its not been easy but it has been worth it. We have a beautiful daughter together and a son on the way.

We just relaxed and spent time together as a family. I was sleeping most of the day seeing as I've been feeling alot more tired. This pregnancy is now beginning to take a toll on me, especially with working overnight. I felt like I would sleep, wake up to eat, drink or use the bathroom and I would be right back tired and sleeping again.

Marlan stayed home again and didn't go out to the club. We went to the store and finished up a little grocery shopping, got Malan a new tooth brush seeing as she has basically destroyed her old one. We got a movie from the redbox to watch for later on that night. I ended up washing my hair because it was long overdue, but I have a "sew in" (weave) in my hair. . I cooked some fish and spaghetti which was quiet nice, then we ate ice cream for dessert. We was supposed to watch the movie but as it started I felt myself getting sleepy and by the time I knew it I was sleeping. When I woke up it was only like 10pm but I ended up going to bed. Friday overall was a goo day.

Saturday

I ended up waking up around 8am'ish so I decided to watch the red box movie (mirror mirror) that we got. It turned out to be good. I cleaned up as I have been the past few days or should I say everyday seeing as Malan brings her toys and drags them around everywhere in the apt. We had to go to the dmv because I needed to renew my drivers license. Marlan ended up leaving to go to the next little town to go to a party, which he didn't even end up going to.I nded up taking the sew in out of my head, I couldn't cope with having it in anymore. I said to myself I will never get no weave put in my hair again. I took my hair down and washed it, it fely horrible like straw or something. I ended up putting alomost a whole bottle of conditioner on it and tryed to brush it out which seemed like forever but eventually my hair started to feel a little better. I brushed it all out, lost a few chuncks and put it in two braids. Me and Malan, slept a lot, watched tv, play with toys which was fun. I ended up going to bed around 10pm'ish I was so tired but ended up waking up a little before Marlan came home and I ate some cereal my stomach felt so empty. We talked a little then I fell back to sleep.
SundayI woke up around 8am today, which seems to be becoming a habbit for me on my off days at from work. I cleaned up a little, then layed down on the couch to watch tv. When Malan and Marlan eventually woke up around 12pm I cooked them some breakfast and was baically a couch potatoe for the rest of the day. I played with Malan in her room for a little while though which was fun dancing and singing along with her toys. I wanted to try get a little sleep before I woke up to cook then head off to work. I ended up getting like 2 hours sleep which didn't feel like anything then cooked some chicken, rice with brocalli and salad. I was kinda mad I had t work because I was feeling so sleepy and wish I could just sleep. Now I'm sitting at work and I can't stop yawning. I am super tired and hope time passes by quick so I can go home to my bed.

Wednesday

I just felt so sick, we was doing some grocery shopping and I was feeling so dizzy, like I was about to throw up. My stomach has been getting tight and I feel more pressure building up which doesn't able me to sleep like I'm supposed to or even want to. I cleaned the apt and put up the groceries. By the time I knew it, it was already 8pm and I would need to get in the shower and leave the house by 9:45pm for work so that would leave me no time to take a nap considering I really needed one because I hardley slept all day asmuch as I hoped I could.

Today I've just been feeling somewhat bad and looking at a lot of things in life overall. I was telling Malans dad that I don't know what it is but I feel like I can't open up on my blog like I would like to. I feel like I can't be myself and express my true feelings. Would writting about certain things make me feel like I'm reliving the moment? Me and him talk a lot about past situations and I always say I wouldn't let everything that has happened depict the person who I wish to be but it seems no matter what I crawl back in a hole and hide to not face reality that has already forseen me. I need to let everything go, get a grip or something. I need to accept me for me, Its just so hard for some reason. I just remind myself "there are a lot of people in the world who feel worse than you do and have been through a lot more than you have so you can never feel sorry for yourself but happy you are here living a healthy life".

Pregnancy Update So Far

This pregnancy I haven't been taking to many pictures so it seems like my stomach just grew out of nowhere over night. I wasn't even getting sick like I was with Malan, infact it didn't even come close.

4-5-12: 156 Pounds
4-18-12: 155.4 Pounds
5-10-12: 154.9 Pounds
5-22-12: 155 Pounds
6-7-12: 160.1 Pounds
7-5-12: 163.1 Pounds

On 6-26-12 We found out where going to be having a BOY. Marlan was really happy and I was also.

As of today I am 24 weeks and 4 days. You can say my cravings are fast food especially Mc Donalds, junk food like chocolate and cookies which isn't too good but I do eat a good amount of fruits.

A Little Bit Of Everything

On 03-10-12 I remember being worried about still not coming on my cycle and I was thinking let me just take a test to ease my mind because I know it will come soon. After peeing on the stick I sat there for what felt like hours. I sat there saying to myself that I wasn't pregnant and that I just worry to much as usual. What came next was the total opposite, as I looked on the stick clear as day was the two lines. I sat there and cryed while my daughter sat outside the bathroom door saying "mum, ma" and banging on the door. I opened it to let her in and she just looked at me with water in my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying. I texted her dad and told him something like we need to talk then I told him how I was pregnant. If I recall he called me and said he would be home shortly, he didn't seem to phased by the whole situation. When he came all I could say was I can't have this baby, I'm supposed to be starting school and I already have a baby. What would my dad say, he "cut me off" completely when he found out I was pregnant the first time. What would people say or even think, I'm 20 years old with a 11month old daughter and I would be having another baby. We agreed I should go to planned parenthood just to be sure, so for two days my mind was racing and I was just telling myself "your not pregnant" and was still thinking I would come on my cycle soon. Maybe the test was wrong and I could stop worrying. On 03-12-12 I went to planned parenthood. I remember pulling up and there where people protesting outside about how all babies deserve a chance to survive and how they where against abortions and things like that. I called Marlan and told him I was scared and about the people outside protesting against abortions. I wasn't there for an abortion though, I was trying to find out if I was really pregnant but was this a sign for me? I walked in, did the paperwork and sat there nervous and feeling so out of place, my legs wouldn't stop shaking So many things where going through my head.The woman called me in and I had to give them a sample of my pee. As I sat there waiting for her to come back in the room I still couldn't stop shaking. The woman came in and told me that I was indeed pregnant, my heart dropped and my eyes filled with water. The woman was asking me what did I want to do and other questions I didn't feel like answering. I just wanted to go home and curl up by myself, away from the world. I had a decision to make that could change my life forever...

03-31-12 We took a trip to Chicago to have Malan a birthday party down there so she could be around her family. She was acting shy a little bit, but she was dancing and eating, she also rode around in her aunties "car"

04-08-12 Easter Sunday. We went to a friends house for an all day brunch and easter egg hunt for the children. Malan "found" 6 eggs and had so much fun and food

04-10-12 Malans First birthday. We took her to the movies and watched Lorax, she ended up falling asleep but it was a good movie. Then we went to a all you can eat buffet (Ryans) she loved the food and was running around having fun.

04-12-12 We took Malan to Chuckee cheese as a second part to her birthday outing. Malan was scared to go on a lot of the rides there but she enjoyed eating the pizza.

06-10-12 It was Marlans little cousins birthday so they decided to go a water park (which we never knew was like 10minutes away from out apt) and bbq. It was so much fun, I barely seen Marlan, considering he cant swim he kept going down the water slides lol. I had Malan with me and we was playing in the "little pool", it had places you could sit down but still be in the water. At first Malan was acting like she was scared and didn't want to be in the water, but after a little while she was trying to run off by herself and splashing all over. I was mad I had to work that night, because we would of hung out with his family a little longer. All together the day was good and when we got home I surely took a much needed nap before work.

06-17-12 We celebrated fathers day in Chicago. We went to i-hop for breakfast, we went over to his family members house because they was bbq'n and I got to meet Marlans great grandad and a few other members of his familY I never met. All together it was a nice day.

06-20-12 Well today was my birthday, so I am now 21 years old which was no big deal to me, it was just "another day". I don't drink, smoke or go to the clubs, plus I'm pregnant anyway so even if I did I couldn't. Well Marlan took us to hooters (my first time ever going). The food was good and the girls where (fill in blank). We all had fun though.

07-04-12 The Fourth Of July. Me and Marlan wasn't really on speaking terms over a silly situation I'm guessing. He ended up taking Malan outside and brought her to his family members house where she could eat, and watch fireworks. I stayed at home and caught up on some needed sleep.

07-09-12 Today was Marlans birthday, he is now 24 years old . After work I went to the store and grabbed him a birthday card, a mini cake and a bottle of wine (testing out my i.d). I left them on the kitchen table so he could see them when he woke up. Needless to say when he woke up so did I and he didn't even see his things seeing as he just went and layed on the couch. I gave him his things and he opened them and said thank you. We joked around a little then I went back to bed. Later when I woke up he didnt (couldn't) leave the house because the day before he injured himself playing basketball so his body was hurting. I went and got us some mexican food and we sat there talking and eating. He said he had a good day which was all I cared about.

Ten Months

02/10/12
The months really are going by so fast, I can't believe my baby is ten months already. In two months she will be turning one. It's so crazy to me how time really does fly, I keep looking back like are you serious! Malan is taking a lot more steps now and mainly likes to stand instead of crawling, she walks more by holding onto things. Today we went to see if we could get her some "hard bottom" shoes, because we thought that would help her better keep her balance but the man told us soft bottoms would do the trick also. We left with no shoes (for Malan), seeing as she has more than enough shoes, as well as one pair of hard bottoms her auntie brought her for Christmas but their still to big. Her dad did get some more "hooping shoes" which he had to order from he store seeing as they didn't have his size.

We went to the gym (me, Marlan and Malan). Malan really enjoyed herself because there was like five other children she could play with. The woman at the gym daycare put her in a walker and she said she liked it very much after being in there for 10 minutes. Malans never had a walker because there is nowhere for her to really walk in out apt.
Her hairs growing and her "bald spot" in the back is clearing away, she has 4 teeth. Malan loves to dance, she holds on to your hand to stand up then lets go and bounces up and down swinging her arms around until she falls down, even then she sits on the floor dancing. Malan loves commercials that have some type of music or somebody singing in them, she stops still or looks at the TV until it goes off. Right now I think her best one is one with a big yelling "weee weee weee", I do that to Malan and she has her own version of it lol.
Also she has this thing where she sticks out her tounge and moves it lol, as well as when you ask her for a kiss she leans in towards you and kisses you on the lips(well me and her dad). It is so cute!!!

Today was her last day on breast milk, were going to try her on 2% milk now but water it down with baby water and see how she likes it. I was trying to go up till she was around one to stop breastfeeding but my milk supply has gotten alot lower, I'm glad I breastfed thou.
Malans enjoying all the new foods shes been tasting and still wants any and everything she sees me and her dad eat, which isn't always possible.
My baby has gotten so big and I kinda hate it, shes taking steps, has teeth and is just everywhere in the house.
I love her so much and so does her dad. We have and continue to enjoy every second with Malan!
MUMMY and DADDY LOVES YOU MALAN!

Weekend Recap

02/06/12
Well I hope everyone had a nice weekend.
Thursday I got to wake up beside Malan and her father, although I was the one getting up when Malan woke up excited and jumping on the bed. I was looking forward to today, because I had a "chill day" planned for me, Marlan and Malan later that night. Marlan would go to the gym and as he was on his way home, I would run him a bath seeing as his body hurt so he could relax while I cooked. When he finished bathing, and the food was done, we would all eat then lay in bed and watch some movies till we fell asleep. As well as laugh and have some conversations. The day obviously didn't go like that. I was running Marlan a bath, he came home and said he was going down stairs for a while and I can do it when he comes back upstairs. Also I couldn't cook because he wasn't quiet hungry yet, due to him drinking his shake. Well eventually he came back upstairs and it was around 10pm, Malan was already in bed asleep. I was so upset I just cry ed while I talked to him and explained all I wanted was to have a nice family night together, seeing as I'm always working or tired. I was so looking forward to spending time with my family, but once again I was let down and I don't think he really understood where I was coming from. Eventually he ended up saying I could still cook if I wanted to and we can watch a movie. I skipped cooking seeing as it was late and we layed on the couch watching a movie. I was happy I got to do that although what I planned I would of enjoyed alot more. I know some time is better than no time!
Friday, Marlan went to Iowa City and me and Malan stayed home. We was in bed most of that day and was being so lazy. We spent maybe a hour or so in the living room and that's only because I was cooking and Malan was in her playpen.
Saturday, Marlan was still in Iowa City and me and Malan was home. In the morning I put her in the bath and put her pj's on (I know, it's morning time but I know where just relaxing at home). After that she fell right to sleep, so I got in the shower then layed down with her. I watched tv for a while then she finally woke up. We layed in bed watching different movies until our ride came so we could go to the library real quick to fax something of. We came back home and skyped my cousin in England for a while, I made some Spaghetti, we ate, then layed back in bed and went to sleep after a while.

Sunday, Marlan came home pretty early compared to when he usually comes. Again he went downstairs and stayed down there a while with his cousin. Me being me obviously said something, like come on now, he's been gone the whole weekend and I just want to spend SOME time with him and Malan together. He finally came upstairs and we layed down and watched a movie. I was supposed to take a nap, but that didn't happen. We were flicking channels from the super bowl to titanic. By the time I knew it I had to leave the house to go to work :(
Overall my weekend was pretty good, I know I got to spend all my time with my baby Malan and at least some time with her daddy

Life

02/01/12
I've been slacking on my blog a little.
I'm just having one of those nights at work, when I've got nothing to do but sit here and think about a whole bunch of things. Like I feel over worked and over tired. I work from Sunday-Wednesday from 10pm-8am, then I go to the gym till around 10:30am. When I'm done I go home and my daughter usually wakes up, I leave her dad to sleep then put her in the tub and wash her up. After that, I get in the shower myself. By the time I'm in my pj's and my daughters dressed her dad sometimes wakes up. He makes her breakfast and I eat something also. I straighten up the apartment if theres anything that need cleaned a little. By then its usually the afternoon time. I then try to sleep and may go to sleep till around 1pm. I have to wake up around 4pm to get Malan because her dad is about to go to the gym. That means I have around 4 - 5 hours sleep. I then get up with Malan, play with her a little and also try get a nap in somewhere. I usually can get a nap for about 1 hour or so if I'm lucky. Malans dad comes back from the gym and sometimes comes upstairs to get Malan or he will go downstairs and hang out for a while. By the time I know it I'm leaving out the door for yet another night at work. I do this 4 days out the week, which may not seem like alot to people but to me it's really starting to get a little overwhelming. I just feel like I barely sleep, I get around maybe 6 hours sleep a day if I'm lucky. I don't know what to do anymore like I really wish I could find another job where I will be guaranteed the same hours and pay, if not more. I wish I could work at a normal time during the dat instead of over night, that way I know I can defiantly get some sleep and won't be over tired. It's like I'm starting to get so annoyed because with the lack of sleep, not having no social life, spending less time with my family and all the other crap I have going through my head is beginning to get to much for me! I miss being younger when I could get up when I wanted, didn't have to worry about bills, I was free to do anything I basically wanted. Now I'm 20 years old with a near 10 month old daughter, with my first job, anD apartment with Malans father, no friends, no social life, no nothing.
Days I just feel like I'm going to explode, like this seriously can't be my life!
It can't all be bad though, I've got my beautiful daughter and her amazing father in my life. Where working together but I guess its just sacrifices that have to be made!

Malan's First Step

01/24/12
My baby took her first steps today. Me and her dad was playing with her and stood her up and she took one step and feel down, then got back up and took two steps and was doing so good. When her dad went to get the camera so we could record it, Malan started messing around, playing trying to get the camera and wouldn't stand up lol. Finally I got the camera while her dad got her and put a candy cane in front of her and then she started getting excited. I gave her the candy cane and she stood up and took some steps. I couldn't believe it, my baby getting so big. Malan kept taking steps. At one point she took like 3-4 all together without falling. We managed to get two videos of her *smiles*
Watch out now world, Malans on the go!

Weekend Recap

01/22/12
Well overall I had a good weekend. The usual being lazy, catching up on sleep, spending time with my daughter and her dad, cleaning, cooking and all that fun stuff. I could'nt go to the gym thou on Friday due to "female problems", so I stayed home and did my work out video which was good.
Malan had started to stand up by herself a lot more now, especially when she holds food in her hand, she will stand there for a long time and even do her little dance she made up lol. It is so cute. Me and her dad have started to pick her up and one of us will be away from her and call her to come to us. Malan stands there doing her little dance but she is so scared to move one foot infront of the other. Although she tryed it but didn't quiet manage to pick up her leg to far off the ground and fell. She didn't hurt herself. When shes ready though she will begin to take those little steps by herself, for now she will continue to stand up by herself and make me and her daddy smile.

Also on Friday it was my little sisters 18th birthday. She lives in England so I didn't get to see her or anything but I did messege her on my blackberry, which is nothing new. Modinat (my sister) had a party and I think she enjoyed herself which was nice. Its crazy thinking that my sister is 18 already. I haven't seen her since 2008 so I still remember her being that young. Even when she tells me shes going to drink and things like that it is so shocking to me because I still think shes so young. In England the legal age to drink is 18. Although I don't drink myself it's her life so no matter what my opinion is on that, thats all it will remain is an opinion.
I called my dad this weekend to so I could talk to him, seeing as I only really talk to him on my days off so I call him anytime between Thursday and Saturday. He didn't answer though, or he didn't call back so I might just try again sometime this week.
I had to make a new facebook page because I said I wanted the new timeline thing they have on facebook and ended up not liking it but they wouldn't set my profile back to the way it was and I hated the way the timeline app made it look. I just deleted my old page and created a whole new facebook, which I didn't mind because the facebook I deleted didn't have much going on seeing as that was pretty new so I didn't loose out on friends or anything like that, everyone just added my new page or I added them.

I also painted my nails this weekend seeing as I wanted to pass some time before I went to wash clothes. I painted them black and gold which was pretty pointless because my nails got ruined not even 20 minutes later. But good thing I did them just to pass time and not because I was going somewhere nice.

I found out my sister is having a boy which is pretty much what I thought, but seeing as my family is mostly all girls that kind of swayed my thoughts. My sister is due in May and my other sister was born in May so lets see when baby decides to come.
Finding out my sister was pregnant was pretty hard for me, especially looking back at everything I went through, I would never and still don't want non of that to happen to her. They say everything happens for a reason so if shes happy so am I.
Only thing my dad still doesn't know that shes pregnant which is pretty awkward with me knowing and talking to him asmuch as I do. Also she talks to him but shes still not quiet ready to tell him. I just hope everything works out for the best.

So there you have it that was my weekend in a nut shell. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Now its back to work!

Thank God It's Friday

01/20/12
I'm so happy its Friday, I get to wake up in my own bed next to my daughter and her daddy. Today I woke up with Malan and let Marlan sleep in. I made her usual breakfast (oatmeal and bananas). After I was supposed to go washing but the weather was terrible, it was snowing and it kept snowing all day so I wasn't even able to go to the gym either. Instead I did my work out video at home and worked out a little sweat there. We stayed in all day and just relaxed.
I cooked some dinner, which was chicken, string beans and rice. I'm not the best cook, but I'm getting better. You can see Malan was happy with her food. This was really the first time shes had a meal like that, she usually eats from mine or her dads plate or has her own baby foods. So today she was happy she got a "big girl" meal. I fed her for a while then after she sat in her highchair in the kitchen and fed herself. bad idea, lol. I'm happy she enjoyed her dinner though. After I had to put her in the bath and clean up the mess she made in the kitchen. Malan was so tired after her food settled and she got her bath. She played in bed and fell asleep. Me and her dad played in the living room to watch a movie, I ended up falling asleep then waking back up. I was so sleepy, Marlan stayed and watched the movie then later joined me and Malan in bed.
I love my Fridays/days off and spending time with my family!

My Pretty Boots

01/18/12
So after getting off work at 8am after doing a 10 hour overnight shift, I had to do a 3 hour cpr class right after I got off I was so tired. Well when I got home I saw a box sitting at my doorway. MY SHOES (I ordered these like last week before me and Marlan had that talk). So I was super happy when I got home and I saw them. I opened them to put them on and they where just to pretty. They're thigh high and the fit is excellent. So now I'v got my thigh high heel boots!
I got them off justfab.com . This will be my last pair of shoes for a long time seeing as I'm no longer shopping in order to save =]

Save save save

01/15/12
Today Marlan had a talk with me about money and how much I'm spending. I'v had my job since October and what money do I really have to show for it. I have new shoes, clothes and accessories. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not in debt or anything but I could have way more money than I already have if I would cut out all this unnecessary shopping I do. I have plenty clothes and way more than enough shoes and the worse part is I barely leave the house to even wear any of them. I'v got so much stuff in my wardrobe with the tags still on them but yet I buy more things.
Its like when I see items on sale, I want to buy them if their nice but I dont need them so I need to stop doing that to myself.
Growing up not having a lot of stuff and mainly everything I wore was second hand and now being able to buy my own things, its like I'm trying to make up for all the things I never had. I don't need to do that though because its only materialistic stuff that could easily be taken away from me. With that being said, I promised I wouldn't shop nomore, no matter how good the sale is or how pretty an item is. I don't need all that stuff, especially if I'v got a wardrobe full of new things and older things I can put together.
Its not a bad things wanting to dress nice and feel good wearing certain things, but first make sure your money is right. Clothes and shoes will be around for a long time, newer things come out and better things come out than what you just spent your money on.
From now on all I'm doing is saving, saving and doing more saving. Only buying the items I need, rather than the items I think I want!

It's Art

01/15/12
Marlan told me to get showered and dressed this morning. He wouldn't tell me why or where we was going. I got me and Malan dressed then he got up and did the same thing. As we was driving I kept wondering where it was we was going and why was it a suprise. When we got there I saw he took me to a art gallery. I was happy because this was mine, aswell as his first time going to one of these. He told me he wanted to show me there are different things we can do in the state that we live in (because I don't like the state we live in and want to move asap). This was a nice experiance and it did kind of prove there are different things we can do in this boring state. Malan had fun to seeing as there was another baby boy there that she kept looking at, waving and laughing lol. Marlan brought a piece of art to hang over the tv in the living room because it looks kind of plane, and I brought something little because I liked it and it was my first painting. I told Marlan I might start buying art now and slow down on my shoe addiction. He said "Oh no" lol.
I had a great afternoon with my family and hope everyone else does also.

Nice day out

01/14/12
Today around 5pm we went to watch Marlans little cousin play basketball at his high school, but by the time we got there we missed his game and ended up staying to watch the other people play sorry. After that me, Marlan and Malan went out to Applebees with his cousin and her boyfriend seeing as it was her birthday on Friday. We had fun, Malan just wanted to eat up everything and was so excited when the food came to the table. We then came home and now I'm about to make some hot chocolate once I log off the computer. Me and Malan are going to lay down and watch some movies because my nose is stocked up and hurts so bad. Its been like this since yesterday morning but it seems like its gotten a lot worse. I'm starting to get a headache now *sad face*.
Well until tommorow good night and I hope everyone has a wonderful an safe Saturday night.

Happy 22nd Birthday Barbara

Mini haul

01/14/12
A few things I brought this week. I ordered my shoes on the computer & all the clothing I got from a thrift store. Reading peoples blogs made me think about thrifting seeing all the beautiful unique clothing they have and seeing as I'v never tried it before. I think I really like it lol. All the pieces of clothing only came up to up to $14.

Week 1 : Work out update

01/13/12
It has officially been my first five days at the gym and although its only been five days I'm starting to see a difference in my progress. On the treadmill on Friday I ran 8 whole minutes straight on 6 (speed) and I still wasn't tired but seeing as I'm doing interval training on the treadmill I slowed down and speed back up again. I'm eating good and taking my vitamins. I'v even lost almost two pound which I'm pretty happy with. On Friday, me and Marlan (Malans dad) went to the gym at the same time so we put Malan in the daycare in the gym. She really enjoyed it and the woman told us she didn't even cry. Were thinking we might do that more often now and it gives her the opertunity to play and see more children of different ages.

Nine Months

01/10/12
Well today your 9 months, sorry about your picture. This was really the only one I could take on my phone, seeing as the camera had died and you really wasn't trying to take anymore. I was supposed to do your hair today also, but for the most part I was sleep and shall do it tomorrow or Thursday because I don't work and won't be tired from the gym.
Your getting a little irritated, because your two top teeth are coming through now and I'm assuming they hurt more than when your two bottom teeth came in. You cry alot more and you make these funny faces with your mouth. I need to capture them faces on the camera. Your beginning to also use your toy to help you walk and your doing really good. You've been standing up holding onto the couch and moving from one end to another for a long time now though. Everytime me or daddy eats you want some even if you don't know what it is you will stand there until you get some and do this little dance you've learned lol. When you realize you can't eat what were eating you start to cry a lot then roll your eyes, depending who won't give you the food you go to the other one then be mad.
Your due your 9 month shots also, but I know your not looking forward to those.
I just hope you know that mummy and daddy love you very much and have loved the 9 months we have got to spend with you and look forward to many more.

Day 1 : Gym time

01/09/12
Well today was the first day beginning my work out. I went to the gym after I did a ten hour shift at work from 10pm the previous night, till 8am today. I'm going to go everyday after work for one week just to see how that goes, to determine if I can do it and get enough sleep before I go back to work at night time. If that doesn't work out I will have to go around 4-5pm when Malans dad goes and Malan can go in the gym daycare.
My body is kind of in pain, I may of over did it for my first time back in the gym. The first thing I did when I got in there was hit the treadmill. I ran for 6 minutes on the speed of 6, which may not seem like a lot to people and it was never seeming like a lot to me either when I was actually "fit" and ran on the treadmill everyday. I need to realize I'v not worked out in a LONG time so I need to be easy and take my time. After running those 6 minutes and almost passing out, I walked on a speed of 3.5 for 20 minutes, ran for another 4 minutes on the speed of 6, then did my cool down for 5 minutes. When I got of that treadmill I felt like I was floating on air and my legs where hurting. After the threadmill I did various different excercises on the equipment to work on my arms, aswell as light weights. I then worked on my legs a little and did some abb crunches.
Basically today I was all over the place with my work out, testing out the equipment and seeing which ones would best help me achieve my goal in the long run. Tommorow I'm planning on having a routine and working on different things on different days in order to give various parts of my body a rest.
So overal today was good, although my body is now in pain and everytime I get up to walk my legs hurt and even my arms are pretty tired. Its all worth it though, today was just day one, tommorow is day two, so on and so forth. After a while my body will get use to "working out", until then I will be hurting and complaining lol

Thank God Its Friday

01/06/12I love Friday mornings. I don't work Thursday nights so I love the fact I can wake up next to Malan and her daddy. I slept so good last night, despite Malan waking up twice during the night so I could give her a bottle and change her diaper.
Well we had a pretty busy morning compared to most Friday mornings where we lay in and be a little lazy. I did Malans hair because it needed re-done. I normally only put little ponytails in it so her hair can grow. Malans acts pretty good and lets me do her hair.

Me, Malan and Marlan (her dad) drove to walmart so we could pick her up some juice and bananas. After we went to the eye doctor for her dad and we was there for over two hours (we didn't expect that). I was talking to the woman about Malan teething and how she doesn't like her teething ring. The woman told me that pop sickals would be a good thing to try and I could get them from walmart. I thought that was a good idea but seeing as my dads wife brought me the baby bullet as a gift I thought it would be better to make my own. I brought the little sticks from the doller store and there was 150 in the packet ewhich was a deal.

We then went to the library, when we got back home I made the pop sickles for Malan. I blended two bananas and added a little baby water, from that I was able to make nine pop sickles which was great. I put the blended bananas in the pots I got with the baby bullet and placed it into the freezer. After about 40 minutes I put the sticks in them seeing as they were a little frozen. In total it took around 2 hours or less for them to be made and frozen.
I put malan in her high chair and gave her one pop sickle. Although she got a little messy, I must say she loved eating it and this is something I will try again with different fruits and maybe even veggies.

Out Of Character

01/04/12
Right I would never normally do this, but I'm trying something different. I would never tell anybody my weight, let alone broadcast it over the internet for more than likely the world to see if they choose. This year I'm planning on working on all of them issues I have though and I'm learning that if I'm not comfortable with the way I look I can ork on that (which I am) the right way!
My body still hasn't got back to the way it was, yes I have stretch marks (which I'm using different lotions and things like that to fade them away). I need to realize I'v had a baby and everything won't just fall back into "place" because I want it to.

So ... Before I was pregnant I weighed 144 pounds which was an okay weight for my height of 5'6,and also the type of body shape I had. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed 197 pounds *geshhh*
As of January 1st 2012 I weigh 153 pounds. I'm starting my gym membership as of Monday 9th January 2012. I will attend the gym after I get off work at 8am from mon-thur but on Friday I will go at a different time. Since Malans dad goes to the gym everyday around 4-5pm its better for me to go earlier so he can watch her, then when its time for him to go I can watch her. Anyways I will stay there for around 2-3hours to work out. Saturday and Sunday will be my resting days seeing as I dont work either of those days :)
I'm not really worried about what the scale says, I just want to get back into shape and look good in my eyes. I want to tone different parts on my body.
Hopefully by my 21st birthday (20th June 2012) I will look and feel alot better about myself.
After my birthday I'm going to continue working out but just not at the gym asmuch, I'm still stuck between two work our videos though. By then my mind should be made up.
I'm starting to drink lots of water, take my vitamins daily, aswell as cutting alot of different foods out of my diet.
So this is the beginning of a long but much needed journey for me!