Life

02/01/12
I've been slacking on my blog a little.
I'm just having one of those nights at work, when I've got nothing to do but sit here and think about a whole bunch of things. Like I feel over worked and over tired. I work from Sunday-Wednesday from 10pm-8am, then I go to the gym till around 10:30am. When I'm done I go home and my daughter usually wakes up, I leave her dad to sleep then put her in the tub and wash her up. After that, I get in the shower myself. By the time I'm in my pj's and my daughters dressed her dad sometimes wakes up. He makes her breakfast and I eat something also. I straighten up the apartment if theres anything that need cleaned a little. By then its usually the afternoon time. I then try to sleep and may go to sleep till around 1pm. I have to wake up around 4pm to get Malan because her dad is about to go to the gym. That means I have around 4 - 5 hours sleep. I then get up with Malan, play with her a little and also try get a nap in somewhere. I usually can get a nap for about 1 hour or so if I'm lucky. Malans dad comes back from the gym and sometimes comes upstairs to get Malan or he will go downstairs and hang out for a while. By the time I know it I'm leaving out the door for yet another night at work. I do this 4 days out the week, which may not seem like alot to people but to me it's really starting to get a little overwhelming. I just feel like I barely sleep, I get around maybe 6 hours sleep a day if I'm lucky. I don't know what to do anymore like I really wish I could find another job where I will be guaranteed the same hours and pay, if not more. I wish I could work at a normal time during the dat instead of over night, that way I know I can defiantly get some sleep and won't be over tired. It's like I'm starting to get so annoyed because with the lack of sleep, not having no social life, spending less time with my family and all the other crap I have going through my head is beginning to get to much for me! I miss being younger when I could get up when I wanted, didn't have to worry about bills, I was free to do anything I basically wanted. Now I'm 20 years old with a near 10 month old daughter, with my first job, anD apartment with Malans father, no friends, no social life, no nothing.
Days I just feel like I'm going to explode, like this seriously can't be my life!
It can't all be bad though, I've got my beautiful daughter and her amazing father in my life. Where working together but I guess its just sacrifices that have to be made!