Mum, I've Got This

Baby Marlan held his bottle by himself the whole time he was drinking it :)Usually the way he drinks his bottle is by me or Marlan putting a sheet down and his bottle on top of it so he can drink it. While we was in Chicago the weekend just passed he was holding his bottle a little but would get lazy and keep dropping it. Me and Kashay were laughing because baby KJ was already holding his bottle and baby Marlan would try hold his a little when they were both eating but he couldn't really do it for to long.
Anywhoo today we were laying down and I just put the bottle in his hand and he grabbed it and drunk the whole thing, holding it himself mind you - yes I am a happy mummy *smiles
Now I know he can do this, no more being lazy big boy lol

Guess What ...

15 more minutes left then I'm of until Sunday night

A Little Bit Of Everything

On 03-10-12 I remember being worried about still not coming on my cycle and I was thinking let me just take a test to ease my mind because I know it will come soon. After peeing on the stick I sat there for what felt like hours. I sat there saying to myself that I wasn't pregnant and that I just worry to much as usual. What came next was the total opposite, as I looked on the stick clear as day was the two lines. I sat there and cryed while my daughter sat outside the bathroom door saying "mum, ma" and banging on the door. I opened it to let her in and she just looked at me with water in my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying. I texted her dad and told him something like we need to talk then I told him how I was pregnant. If I recall he called me and said he would be home shortly, he didn't seem to phased by the whole situation. When he came all I could say was I can't have this baby, I'm supposed to be starting school and I already have a baby. What would my dad say, he "cut me off" completely when he found out I was pregnant the first time. What would people say or even think, I'm 20 years old with a 11month old daughter and I would be having another baby. We agreed I should go to planned parenthood just to be sure, so for two days my mind was racing and I was just telling myself "your not pregnant" and was still thinking I would come on my cycle soon. Maybe the test was wrong and I could stop worrying. On 03-12-12 I went to planned parenthood. I remember pulling up and there where people protesting outside about how all babies deserve a chance to survive and how they where against abortions and things like that. I called Marlan and told him I was scared and about the people outside protesting against abortions. I wasn't there for an abortion though, I was trying to find out if I was really pregnant but was this a sign for me? I walked in, did the paperwork and sat there nervous and feeling so out of place, my legs wouldn't stop shaking So many things where going through my head.The woman called me in and I had to give them a sample of my pee. As I sat there waiting for her to come back in the room I still couldn't stop shaking. The woman came in and told me that I was indeed pregnant, my heart dropped and my eyes filled with water. The woman was asking me what did I want to do and other questions I didn't feel like answering. I just wanted to go home and curl up by myself, away from the world. I had a decision to make that could change my life forever...

03-31-12 We took a trip to Chicago to have Malan a birthday party down there so she could be around her family. She was acting shy a little bit, but she was dancing and eating, she also rode around in her aunties "car"

04-08-12 Easter Sunday. We went to a friends house for an all day brunch and easter egg hunt for the children. Malan "found" 6 eggs and had so much fun and food

04-10-12 Malans First birthday. We took her to the movies and watched Lorax, she ended up falling asleep but it was a good movie. Then we went to a all you can eat buffet (Ryans) she loved the food and was running around having fun.

04-12-12 We took Malan to Chuckee cheese as a second part to her birthday outing. Malan was scared to go on a lot of the rides there but she enjoyed eating the pizza.

06-10-12 It was Marlans little cousins birthday so they decided to go a water park (which we never knew was like 10minutes away from out apt) and bbq. It was so much fun, I barely seen Marlan, considering he cant swim he kept going down the water slides lol. I had Malan with me and we was playing in the "little pool", it had places you could sit down but still be in the water. At first Malan was acting like she was scared and didn't want to be in the water, but after a little while she was trying to run off by herself and splashing all over. I was mad I had to work that night, because we would of hung out with his family a little longer. All together the day was good and when we got home I surely took a much needed nap before work.

06-17-12 We celebrated fathers day in Chicago. We went to i-hop for breakfast, we went over to his family members house because they was bbq'n and I got to meet Marlans great grandad and a few other members of his familY I never met. All together it was a nice day.

06-20-12 Well today was my birthday, so I am now 21 years old which was no big deal to me, it was just "another day". I don't drink, smoke or go to the clubs, plus I'm pregnant anyway so even if I did I couldn't. Well Marlan took us to hooters (my first time ever going). The food was good and the girls where (fill in blank). We all had fun though.

07-04-12 The Fourth Of July. Me and Marlan wasn't really on speaking terms over a silly situation I'm guessing. He ended up taking Malan outside and brought her to his family members house where she could eat, and watch fireworks. I stayed at home and caught up on some needed sleep.

07-09-12 Today was Marlans birthday, he is now 24 years old . After work I went to the store and grabbed him a birthday card, a mini cake and a bottle of wine (testing out my i.d). I left them on the kitchen table so he could see them when he woke up. Needless to say when he woke up so did I and he didn't even see his things seeing as he just went and layed on the couch. I gave him his things and he opened them and said thank you. We joked around a little then I went back to bed. Later when I woke up he didnt (couldn't) leave the house because the day before he injured himself playing basketball so his body was hurting. I went and got us some mexican food and we sat there talking and eating. He said he had a good day which was all I cared about.

Malan's First Step

01/24/12
My baby took her first steps today. Me and her dad was playing with her and stood her up and she took one step and feel down, then got back up and took two steps and was doing so good. When her dad went to get the camera so we could record it, Malan started messing around, playing trying to get the camera and wouldn't stand up lol. Finally I got the camera while her dad got her and put a candy cane in front of her and then she started getting excited. I gave her the candy cane and she stood up and took some steps. I couldn't believe it, my baby getting so big. Malan kept taking steps. At one point she took like 3-4 all together without falling. We managed to get two videos of her *smiles*
Watch out now world, Malans on the go!

Weekend Recap

01/22/12
Well overall I had a good weekend. The usual being lazy, catching up on sleep, spending time with my daughter and her dad, cleaning, cooking and all that fun stuff. I could'nt go to the gym thou on Friday due to "female problems", so I stayed home and did my work out video which was good.
Malan had started to stand up by herself a lot more now, especially when she holds food in her hand, she will stand there for a long time and even do her little dance she made up lol. It is so cute. Me and her dad have started to pick her up and one of us will be away from her and call her to come to us. Malan stands there doing her little dance but she is so scared to move one foot infront of the other. Although she tryed it but didn't quiet manage to pick up her leg to far off the ground and fell. She didn't hurt herself. When shes ready though she will begin to take those little steps by herself, for now she will continue to stand up by herself and make me and her daddy smile.

Also on Friday it was my little sisters 18th birthday. She lives in England so I didn't get to see her or anything but I did messege her on my blackberry, which is nothing new. Modinat (my sister) had a party and I think she enjoyed herself which was nice. Its crazy thinking that my sister is 18 already. I haven't seen her since 2008 so I still remember her being that young. Even when she tells me shes going to drink and things like that it is so shocking to me because I still think shes so young. In England the legal age to drink is 18. Although I don't drink myself it's her life so no matter what my opinion is on that, thats all it will remain is an opinion.
I called my dad this weekend to so I could talk to him, seeing as I only really talk to him on my days off so I call him anytime between Thursday and Saturday. He didn't answer though, or he didn't call back so I might just try again sometime this week.
I had to make a new facebook page because I said I wanted the new timeline thing they have on facebook and ended up not liking it but they wouldn't set my profile back to the way it was and I hated the way the timeline app made it look. I just deleted my old page and created a whole new facebook, which I didn't mind because the facebook I deleted didn't have much going on seeing as that was pretty new so I didn't loose out on friends or anything like that, everyone just added my new page or I added them.

I also painted my nails this weekend seeing as I wanted to pass some time before I went to wash clothes. I painted them black and gold which was pretty pointless because my nails got ruined not even 20 minutes later. But good thing I did them just to pass time and not because I was going somewhere nice.

I found out my sister is having a boy which is pretty much what I thought, but seeing as my family is mostly all girls that kind of swayed my thoughts. My sister is due in May and my other sister was born in May so lets see when baby decides to come.
Finding out my sister was pregnant was pretty hard for me, especially looking back at everything I went through, I would never and still don't want non of that to happen to her. They say everything happens for a reason so if shes happy so am I.
Only thing my dad still doesn't know that shes pregnant which is pretty awkward with me knowing and talking to him asmuch as I do. Also she talks to him but shes still not quiet ready to tell him. I just hope everything works out for the best.

So there you have it that was my weekend in a nut shell. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Now its back to work!

Thank God It's Friday

01/20/12
I'm so happy its Friday, I get to wake up in my own bed next to my daughter and her daddy. Today I woke up with Malan and let Marlan sleep in. I made her usual breakfast (oatmeal and bananas). After I was supposed to go washing but the weather was terrible, it was snowing and it kept snowing all day so I wasn't even able to go to the gym either. Instead I did my work out video at home and worked out a little sweat there. We stayed in all day and just relaxed.
I cooked some dinner, which was chicken, string beans and rice. I'm not the best cook, but I'm getting better. You can see Malan was happy with her food. This was really the first time shes had a meal like that, she usually eats from mine or her dads plate or has her own baby foods. So today she was happy she got a "big girl" meal. I fed her for a while then after she sat in her highchair in the kitchen and fed herself. bad idea, lol. I'm happy she enjoyed her dinner though. After I had to put her in the bath and clean up the mess she made in the kitchen. Malan was so tired after her food settled and she got her bath. She played in bed and fell asleep. Me and her dad played in the living room to watch a movie, I ended up falling asleep then waking back up. I was so sleepy, Marlan stayed and watched the movie then later joined me and Malan in bed.
I love my Fridays/days off and spending time with my family!

My Pretty Boots

01/18/12
So after getting off work at 8am after doing a 10 hour overnight shift, I had to do a 3 hour cpr class right after I got off I was so tired. Well when I got home I saw a box sitting at my doorway. MY SHOES (I ordered these like last week before me and Marlan had that talk). So I was super happy when I got home and I saw them. I opened them to put them on and they where just to pretty. They're thigh high and the fit is excellent. So now I'v got my thigh high heel boots!
I got them off justfab.com . This will be my last pair of shoes for a long time seeing as I'm no longer shopping in order to save =]

Thank God Its Friday

01/06/12I love Friday mornings. I don't work Thursday nights so I love the fact I can wake up next to Malan and her daddy. I slept so good last night, despite Malan waking up twice during the night so I could give her a bottle and change her diaper.
Well we had a pretty busy morning compared to most Friday mornings where we lay in and be a little lazy. I did Malans hair because it needed re-done. I normally only put little ponytails in it so her hair can grow. Malans acts pretty good and lets me do her hair.

Me, Malan and Marlan (her dad) drove to walmart so we could pick her up some juice and bananas. After we went to the eye doctor for her dad and we was there for over two hours (we didn't expect that). I was talking to the woman about Malan teething and how she doesn't like her teething ring. The woman told me that pop sickals would be a good thing to try and I could get them from walmart. I thought that was a good idea but seeing as my dads wife brought me the baby bullet as a gift I thought it would be better to make my own. I brought the little sticks from the doller store and there was 150 in the packet ewhich was a deal.

We then went to the library, when we got back home I made the pop sickles for Malan. I blended two bananas and added a little baby water, from that I was able to make nine pop sickles which was great. I put the blended bananas in the pots I got with the baby bullet and placed it into the freezer. After about 40 minutes I put the sticks in them seeing as they were a little frozen. In total it took around 2 hours or less for them to be made and frozen.
I put malan in her high chair and gave her one pop sickle. Although she got a little messy, I must say she loved eating it and this is something I will try again with different fruits and maybe even veggies.

Just A Quick Post

01/04/12
I came home from work at 8:30am, cleaned up after Malan and her daddy, then washed my hair. Im deciding to leave my hair curly (thats why it looks like that). Seeing as I'm about to start going to the gym, me straightening it is kind of pointless.
While I was doing my hair, I heard Malan in the bedroom, I went in to see what she was doing and she was just sitting their while her daddy was still asleep. I took Malan out the room, finished doing my hair, then we layed back down seeing as she was sleepy again and I know I was (I just got off a 10 hour over night shift). I woke up around 3pm, so i slept in total of maybe 4hours. It was time for her daddy to go to the gym so I woke up to be with Malan who I can tell all she wanted to do was play!
I came to realize me, her and her daddy haven't recently took any pictures together, its usually me behind the camera while he's with Malan or vice versa so we snapped a few random shots before he left for the gym.
Malans laying on the bed drinking her bottle going to sleep so the best thing for me to do is get off this computer and lay down with her so I can also get a little more sleep, I know I need it! Nothing Is Better Than Family