I know I jumped from day 17 - day 22. Well I didnt skip the days, I just dont really feel like posting about them. They did go well though and I made it through. I can't believe how fast these days are flying by.
Anywhooo ...
I fell a lot better with the ab section of the work out. I can do the work out a lot better now. With the ab portion I started to do that as an everyday thing, along with what ever work out is for that day. I hope thats fine. I feel like my "abs" I don't have YET are getting a lot stronger. I'm starting to enjoy cardio abs now instead of felling like ughhh I'm going to do this later.
Pure Cardio, well my form is getting a lot better but it seems the better my form is the more tired I get.
6.12.2013
Insanity: Day 17 Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs
I feel I did a lot better with the pure cardio, I'm getting better with the moves, the push ups still kill me though, my upper body just isn't so strong. I ended up taking like a 5 minute break before I started the cardio abs, this DVD kind of kills me but I was able to go a lot longer this time with certain moves. Now the jumping I find if I do it at my own pace I can do it a lot better and get a few done.
Also today I got to take a little nap because we took a test in my administrative medical procedures lecture class so we didn't end up having the lab so I got to go home and sleep which helped a lot.
Also today I got to take a little nap because we took a test in my administrative medical procedures lecture class so we didn't end up having the lab so I got to go home and sleep which helped a lot.
Insanity: Day 16 Plyometric and Cardio
6/11/13
I am super tired sitting here at work, I had maybe 3 hours sleep all day if that. Lets not mention working all night and then going to class after work. In between getting Marlan from work I TRIED to take a nap but that didn't happen as much as I wanted it to. When we got back home I ended up cleaning up and then finally doing the work out. I feel it went well, again I made it through the whole warm up without stopping or getting some water. Malan and baby Marlan did keep deciding to get in front of me when trying to work out but Marlan did do a good job of getting them and keeping them occupied for a while until they would come back and do it again. Malan has a thing with trying to drink my water then when I do get a break and want to drink some, its almost all gone thanks to her. All in all it went well, I wish I could just go home and sleep... We know that wont happen though,since I have class like all day tomorrow! ughhhh
I am super tired sitting here at work, I had maybe 3 hours sleep all day if that. Lets not mention working all night and then going to class after work. In between getting Marlan from work I TRIED to take a nap but that didn't happen as much as I wanted it to. When we got back home I ended up cleaning up and then finally doing the work out. I feel it went well, again I made it through the whole warm up without stopping or getting some water. Malan and baby Marlan did keep deciding to get in front of me when trying to work out but Marlan did do a good job of getting them and keeping them occupied for a while until they would come back and do it again. Malan has a thing with trying to drink my water then when I do get a break and want to drink some, its almost all gone thanks to her. All in all it went well, I wish I could just go home and sleep... We know that wont happen though,since I have class like all day tomorrow! ughhhh
6.10.2013
Insanity: Day 15 Fit Test
Day 1 ....................................................................................................................Day 15
This time around, the fit test seemed a lot easier and I was proud with the results. I even managed to drop 1.6 pounds which was shocking and even lost some inches. I'm happy with the results and will continue to work hard to get where I want to be. I felt like I did a lot better with the jumps also, more than I usually do when I'm doing the actual exercise. For now ...
6.09.2013
Insanity: Day 11 Cardio Recovery, 12 Cardio Power & Resistance, 13 Pure Cardio & Cardio Abs, 14 REST!
Day 11 Cardio recovery - This day was a pretty good day for me, I like the recovery part. Although you still sweat and to me it is still a work out, its just not as intense as the other day. I 've noticed I'm getting back flexible and can stretch a lot deeper now. My body isn't as sore as it used to be either :)
Day 12 Cardio power and resistance - I'm getting so much better with the warm up, like I said before, I can make it through the whole 3 rounds and not stop for water or a break even. This work out is still hard for me somewhat, the jumps for me are still not "on point". I am better than the first time I did it, I think I need to find a better balance when I'm jumping and landing. Also the push ups, I'm just going to say, that is not my strongest point, AT ALL.
Day 13 Pure cardio and cardio abs - What to say about this, the pure cardio today was better than last time, still though them jumps, for some reason I just cant get the hang of them :( . Also today was my first time doing cardio abs, and boy oh boy this was something else. They didn't do the "regular" ab work outs that are normally done, they took it to a whole other level. This was pretty hard for me. Who am I kidding, this was really hard for me. I feel like I want to do this after every work out I do now though, just so I can get better and get a better result with my abs, I don't have yet.
Day 14 REST - My favourite day thus far :) lol. Truthfully though, although this is a rest day, I still feel like I be wanting to do some type of insanity DVD. I was super tired today though so I'm pretty glad it was a rest day!
Day 12 Cardio power and resistance - I'm getting so much better with the warm up, like I said before, I can make it through the whole 3 rounds and not stop for water or a break even. This work out is still hard for me somewhat, the jumps for me are still not "on point". I am better than the first time I did it, I think I need to find a better balance when I'm jumping and landing. Also the push ups, I'm just going to say, that is not my strongest point, AT ALL.
Day 13 Pure cardio and cardio abs - What to say about this, the pure cardio today was better than last time, still though them jumps, for some reason I just cant get the hang of them :( . Also today was my first time doing cardio abs, and boy oh boy this was something else. They didn't do the "regular" ab work outs that are normally done, they took it to a whole other level. This was pretty hard for me. Who am I kidding, this was really hard for me. I feel like I want to do this after every work out I do now though, just so I can get better and get a better result with my abs, I don't have yet.
Day 14 REST - My favourite day thus far :) lol. Truthfully though, although this is a rest day, I still feel like I be wanting to do some type of insanity DVD. I was super tired today though so I'm pretty glad it was a rest day!
6.05.2013
Insanity: Day 10 Plyometric Cardio Circuit
Did I mention that Wednesdays are NOT my day at all. Lets say I go to work Tuesday night at 9:45pm then get off Wednesday morning at 7:45am. Drop Marlan off at work by 8am then go home for like 20 minutes or so before my class starts at 9am. So I have class 9am-10-06am, 10:30am-1:00pm, go home for like 30 minutes then back in another class 2pm-4:30pm, pick Marlan up from work then go back home. Did you see me mention SLEEP anywhere in there? Yep didn't think so, that's maybe because by this time I still haven't slept.
I get home and just want to get this work out over with so I can some type of sleep, I am super tired, my eyes hurt, everything just to much.
The work out: HARD is an understatement, although I'm getting better with repetition and doing the sets more times than I did before, as well as also doing the warm up the 3 times through, not stopping or getting any water (pats self on back). I still cant get the hang of jumping down, doing push up, running it out, jumping back up then doing it all over again. I do it as many times as I can, I still end up doing "girl" push ups because my arms just become so weak holding up my own body. Also being in the push up position then having to jump side to side, that has me laying on the floor about to pass out.
Overall, I am still proud of myself for getting through the work out and completing it with no major issues, except wanting to sleep (side eye...
Well I got like 2 hours sleep, if that and then I had to be back at work. I'm just glad tonight is my last night then I will be of until Sunday night because I seriously need sleep
Until tomorrow...
I get home and just want to get this work out over with so I can some type of sleep, I am super tired, my eyes hurt, everything just to much.
The work out: HARD is an understatement, although I'm getting better with repetition and doing the sets more times than I did before, as well as also doing the warm up the 3 times through, not stopping or getting any water (pats self on back). I still cant get the hang of jumping down, doing push up, running it out, jumping back up then doing it all over again. I do it as many times as I can, I still end up doing "girl" push ups because my arms just become so weak holding up my own body. Also being in the push up position then having to jump side to side, that has me laying on the floor about to pass out.
Overall, I am still proud of myself for getting through the work out and completing it with no major issues, except wanting to sleep (side eye...
Well I got like 2 hours sleep, if that and then I had to be back at work. I'm just glad tonight is my last night then I will be of until Sunday night because I seriously need sleep
Until tomorrow...
Insanity: Day 9 Pure Cardio
6/4/13
Although before, I said this was the hardest work out, I still fell its hard but I did a lot better this time around. Today I made it through the whole warm up without stopping or even getting any water. I was pretty proud of myself and wasn't as tired as I though I would be. I'm still not super good at doing the push ups but I tried a lot harder today, although I mainly still did "girl" push ups, but I would rather do that than nothing at all.
I'm still so motivated to work out even with the lack of sleep I'm continuing to get thanks to being a full time student, mum and "housewife". I cant wait until Thursday morning because 1) I don't have class on Thursdays, and 2) I wont have work until Sunday night.
I even went to walmart today to do grocery shopping but you know I had to pick up some extra things. I got myself a yoga mat, a pink one. After I brought it I felt bad because I should have brought the blue one so Marlan can work out on it when he decides to start. Although I don't think it makes a difference just because its pink. I also brought a scale, the electric type one where you stand on it and it digitally tells you your weight. Although I like the one we already had, i just found it hard to know if it was telling me my right weight or not. mmmm. I also brought a jump rope, going to put that to use sometime while working out.
Well I've got day 9 down, lets see how tomorrow goes!
Although before, I said this was the hardest work out, I still fell its hard but I did a lot better this time around. Today I made it through the whole warm up without stopping or even getting any water. I was pretty proud of myself and wasn't as tired as I though I would be. I'm still not super good at doing the push ups but I tried a lot harder today, although I mainly still did "girl" push ups, but I would rather do that than nothing at all.
I'm still so motivated to work out even with the lack of sleep I'm continuing to get thanks to being a full time student, mum and "housewife". I cant wait until Thursday morning because 1) I don't have class on Thursdays, and 2) I wont have work until Sunday night.
I even went to walmart today to do grocery shopping but you know I had to pick up some extra things. I got myself a yoga mat, a pink one. After I brought it I felt bad because I should have brought the blue one so Marlan can work out on it when he decides to start. Although I don't think it makes a difference just because its pink. I also brought a scale, the electric type one where you stand on it and it digitally tells you your weight. Although I like the one we already had, i just found it hard to know if it was telling me my right weight or not. mmmm. I also brought a jump rope, going to put that to use sometime while working out.
Well I've got day 9 down, lets see how tomorrow goes!
6.03.2013
Insanity: Day 7 Rest and Day 8 Cardio Power & Resistance
Well day 7 was a rest day which I was kind of debating should I just do some type of work out or should I rest like it tells me to. Well figures I rested, after those past 6 days I think I deserved it though. I find that I'm eating a lot more better and I've cut out the junk food like chips, chocolate and all that "fun" stuff. Funny enough its not bothering me to much either. When I'm at work I usually would just eat junk food because I'm sitting here for 10 hours over night, so I guess I would just be eating just because. Now if I do eat i grab some cereal, an apple, or something.
Day 8 - Cardio Power & Resistance (back here again)
This work out is still a pretty tough one to do, although this is my second time doing it. It's those push ups that be killing me, for the life of me I cannot do them. I have to push down spread my legs apart and keep doing it moving. I just cant do it. Instead I do the "girl" push ups then follow on with the rest of the work out.
With this work out I've seen a difference in my form and my willing to push further and be able to do a lot more reps than the first time around (Well not like 100 more but you know I'm better this time than the first time). The jumps we have to do, I always feel bad doing those since we live in an apartment, I wonder what the woman downstairs thinks about all that banging every 2 seconds (she hasn't complained so cant b to bad)
Well I made it through day 8 so lets keep it moving :)
Day 8 - Cardio Power & Resistance (back here again)
This work out is still a pretty tough one to do, although this is my second time doing it. It's those push ups that be killing me, for the life of me I cannot do them. I have to push down spread my legs apart and keep doing it moving. I just cant do it. Instead I do the "girl" push ups then follow on with the rest of the work out.
With this work out I've seen a difference in my form and my willing to push further and be able to do a lot more reps than the first time around (Well not like 100 more but you know I'm better this time than the first time). The jumps we have to do, I always feel bad doing those since we live in an apartment, I wonder what the woman downstairs thinks about all that banging every 2 seconds (she hasn't complained so cant b to bad)
Well I made it through day 8 so lets keep it moving :)
6.01.2013
Insanity: Day 3 Cardio Power and Resistance, 4 Cardio Recovery, 5 Pure Cardio, 6 Plyometric Cardio Circuit
I just got done finishing up day 6 of the insanity, and boy was this a tough week. That's not even mentioning the lack of sleep I got all week. With work, school, and 2 children, it has been such a crazy week for me.
Day 3: Cardio Power and Resistance
Day 4: Cardio Recovery
Today was the easiest day of this week, It was to do with more stretching and recovering from everything that I've done thus far, mainly the cardio from the day before.
Day 5: Pure Cardio
Now this was the hardest work out I have done thus far or should I say I've ever done in my life. I didn't do this until around 10pm or so because I was busy doing homework all day and making sure I stay ahead of my classes. I was also very tired and wanted to just lay down and go to sleep, but I pushed play and let the work out begin. I felt like I was literally going to die
Day 6: Plyometric Cardio Circuit
I did this work out on day 2 and I can honestly say I can see a difference in my form and me pushing through the work out a lot easier. Now I'm not saying it was easy, because it was far from. I am saying that it was easier than the very first time I did it. Malan even started trying to join in while I was working out, she was TRYING to copy what they was doing on tv and running arounf laughing while baby Marlan was trying to follow her around.
Well I can now say I have officially finished my first week, my body hurts a little, but I will keep pushing through so I can get the results I want :)
p.s I need to start blogging right after I do the work out so I can really remember every detail of what I was doing :/
Day 3: Cardio Power and Resistance
Day 4: Cardio Recovery
Today was the easiest day of this week, It was to do with more stretching and recovering from everything that I've done thus far, mainly the cardio from the day before.
Day 5: Pure Cardio
Now this was the hardest work out I have done thus far or should I say I've ever done in my life. I didn't do this until around 10pm or so because I was busy doing homework all day and making sure I stay ahead of my classes. I was also very tired and wanted to just lay down and go to sleep, but I pushed play and let the work out begin. I felt like I was literally going to die
Day 6: Plyometric Cardio Circuit
I did this work out on day 2 and I can honestly say I can see a difference in my form and me pushing through the work out a lot easier. Now I'm not saying it was easy, because it was far from. I am saying that it was easier than the very first time I did it. Malan even started trying to join in while I was working out, she was TRYING to copy what they was doing on tv and running arounf laughing while baby Marlan was trying to follow her around.
Well I can now say I have officially finished my first week, my body hurts a little, but I will keep pushing through so I can get the results I want :)
p.s I need to start blogging right after I do the work out so I can really remember every detail of what I was doing :/
5.28.2013
Insanity: Day 2 Plyometric Cardio Circuit
Well today I got of work at 7:45am, dropped Marlan of at work by 8am, dropped his brother at school by 8:30am and was in class by 9am. Class didn't finish until 11:30am then I had to go home and stay awake with the kids because baby Marlan had a doctor opt at 1:30pm. I got back home around 2pm and had to pick up Marlans brother by 3:00pm (still no sleep). I got to get around 2 hours and that's all Ive gotten all day. Yet I still pressed play
I would like to say that this work out didn't get its name from anywhere, this program really is insane. It had my heart racing, and the sweat was dripping of me. Sean did a good job of pushing you and letting you know that he was there with you and pushing right along with you. Right now my legs hurt (it doesn't help that my foot is bruised due to a accident). My arms don't feel as bad but I can feel a little something going on in them. There were many times that I felt like I was going to throw up (thank god for those 30 second water breaks). It made me feel a little better to see other people on the DVD getting tired and taking breaks. It didn't make me feel as bad about myself because the program is hard.
So I made it through my second day and I'm still here. Lets see what tomorrow has to bring.
I would like to say that this work out didn't get its name from anywhere, this program really is insane. It had my heart racing, and the sweat was dripping of me. Sean did a good job of pushing you and letting you know that he was there with you and pushing right along with you. Right now my legs hurt (it doesn't help that my foot is bruised due to a accident). My arms don't feel as bad but I can feel a little something going on in them. There were many times that I felt like I was going to throw up (thank god for those 30 second water breaks). It made me feel a little better to see other people on the DVD getting tired and taking breaks. It didn't make me feel as bad about myself because the program is hard.
So I made it through my second day and I'm still here. Lets see what tomorrow has to bring.
5.27.2013
Insanity: Day 1 Fitness Test
Thigh 26
Chest 36.5
Arm 12.5
Hips 39
Height 5'6
Weight 167
Today was kind of hard for me, it just showed me how out of shape I have gotten, but I know I will keep pushing and doing my best. I already know this is going to be one of the hardest things I will be doing, but I will commit to this becasue I want to get great results.
THE FIT TEST
Move Day 1
switch kicks 54
power jacks 40
power knee 65
power jumps 15
globe jumps 5
suicide jumps 10
push up jacks 2
low plank oblique 12
So day one is officially over, lets see whats to come.
5.13.2013
Weekend Recap
Thursday
I got of work and was happy because I didn't have to go back to work until Sunday night. Marlan picked me up and wasn't talking to me for whatever reason he made up in his head. I got a little sleep but had to be up for the most part with the kids while Marlan was at work and his little brother in school.
I had my CPR class that I had to do for my program I will be taking this month. they said it would be from 6pm - 10pm, but we got out around 8pm which was a good thing. I got to go home and spend some time with the kids and make a little something to eat. We went to bed pretty early today because Marlan had to work ... By the end of the night he was talking to me a little lol
Friday
I had to drop Marlan of at work so I could have the car because Malan had her 2 year old doctors appointment. I was pretty tired though still but it was cool. Everything went well at the doctors and Malan is growing and is healthy all over. Malan now weighs 31 pound 10 oz, 36 inches long, and her head circumference is 48cm. Malan also had to get her hemoglobin level checked which came back good. Malan was pretty mad because she was due to get a shot, she had her 2nd hep A and cried for like 2 seconds. After that she was fine. On the ride home she went to sleep in the car (I don't know what it is but her and the baby always go to sleep after getting their shots.
Today I also got some cleaning done, A LOT. I deep cleaned our whole apartment which took me all day. I would have finished a lot earlier but with two children who need constant attention it was pretty hard and I would take breaks because I had to do other things. I was happy by the end of the night because I knew I could relax all day tomorrow and not worry about cleaning up to much.
Saturday
Today seemed like it went by rather quickly. I hung out with Marlan and the kids. Marlan wanted to spend some time with me and watch "Hot Tub Time Machine" before he went out later on. As much as I talked sh*t about not wanting to watch the DVD because I have seen it so many times, I still did and I enjoyed it lol. Today I also sewed Malan a skirt, which turned out really good for my first attempt. With the rest of the material I will be making me a dress. All I really have to do is fit the dress to my size because I ended up buying the original dress from goodwill because I liked the print on the fabric and used the bottom part to make Malans skirt. Marlan said that's what me and her can wear when we all take family pictured for baby Marlans 6 months. That would be nice because its something I made. Also today baby Marlan pulled himself up using the couch, me and Marlan was so shocked and he was just standig there laughing. This little boy is growing up so quick and continues to amaze us everyday.
Sunday
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!! Today was a "normal" day, nothing special or different. Well I cant say nothing special because everyday I spend with my children is special :)
Marlan was sick (Self inflicted) which added to my emotional state I was already in and how mad I was at him. I spent time with Malan and baby Marlan and ended up finishing little Nates jacket (Marlans little brother). It turned out really nice but I had to change the studs because when I bleached it, like a fool I left studs on there and they changed color so I had to take them off and put new ones on. After I finished that I ended up laying down to sleep which was around 5pm and by the time I woke up it was almost 9pm (when I had to be getting up foo work).
Overall the weekend was nice. Filled with so many mixed emotions ...
I got of work and was happy because I didn't have to go back to work until Sunday night. Marlan picked me up and wasn't talking to me for whatever reason he made up in his head. I got a little sleep but had to be up for the most part with the kids while Marlan was at work and his little brother in school.
I had my CPR class that I had to do for my program I will be taking this month. they said it would be from 6pm - 10pm, but we got out around 8pm which was a good thing. I got to go home and spend some time with the kids and make a little something to eat. We went to bed pretty early today because Marlan had to work ... By the end of the night he was talking to me a little lol
Friday
I had to drop Marlan of at work so I could have the car because Malan had her 2 year old doctors appointment. I was pretty tired though still but it was cool. Everything went well at the doctors and Malan is growing and is healthy all over. Malan now weighs 31 pound 10 oz, 36 inches long, and her head circumference is 48cm. Malan also had to get her hemoglobin level checked which came back good. Malan was pretty mad because she was due to get a shot, she had her 2nd hep A and cried for like 2 seconds. After that she was fine. On the ride home she went to sleep in the car (I don't know what it is but her and the baby always go to sleep after getting their shots.
Today I also got some cleaning done, A LOT. I deep cleaned our whole apartment which took me all day. I would have finished a lot earlier but with two children who need constant attention it was pretty hard and I would take breaks because I had to do other things. I was happy by the end of the night because I knew I could relax all day tomorrow and not worry about cleaning up to much.
Saturday
Today seemed like it went by rather quickly. I hung out with Marlan and the kids. Marlan wanted to spend some time with me and watch "Hot Tub Time Machine" before he went out later on. As much as I talked sh*t about not wanting to watch the DVD because I have seen it so many times, I still did and I enjoyed it lol. Today I also sewed Malan a skirt, which turned out really good for my first attempt. With the rest of the material I will be making me a dress. All I really have to do is fit the dress to my size because I ended up buying the original dress from goodwill because I liked the print on the fabric and used the bottom part to make Malans skirt. Marlan said that's what me and her can wear when we all take family pictured for baby Marlans 6 months. That would be nice because its something I made. Also today baby Marlan pulled himself up using the couch, me and Marlan was so shocked and he was just standig there laughing. This little boy is growing up so quick and continues to amaze us everyday.
Sunday
Marlan was sick (Self inflicted) which added to my emotional state I was already in and how mad I was at him. I spent time with Malan and baby Marlan and ended up finishing little Nates jacket (Marlans little brother). It turned out really nice but I had to change the studs because when I bleached it, like a fool I left studs on there and they changed color so I had to take them off and put new ones on. After I finished that I ended up laying down to sleep which was around 5pm and by the time I woke up it was almost 9pm (when I had to be getting up foo work).
Overall the weekend was nice. Filled with so many mixed emotions ...
4.24.2013
ABC's
I saw this on a blog and decided to do it!
Age: 21
Bed Size: Queen
Chore you hate: I don't have chores
Dogs: Got bit by one so not to "for them"
Essential start of your day: Brush teeth :)
Favorite Color: Can I have two? ... Red & Blue
Gold or silver: Gold
Height: 5'6
Instruments I play (or have played): Flute
Job: Night worker ... Ughhh
Kids: A beautiful girl and boy
Live: Iowa (sucks)
Mom's Name: Teresa
Nickname: Sheeda or Rash
Overnight hospital stays: Pregnancy and ...
Pet Peeve: People pointing in my face, things not being clean and being talked to like a child
Quote from a movie: "Say hello to my little friend" - Scarface
Right or left handed: Right
Siblings: On my mums side, 4 sisters & 1 brother. Dads side 1 sister (6 all together)
Time you wake up: Depends on the day and how the kids are feeling
Underwear: Only for Marlan to see :)
Vegetables you dislike: celery (why has my mind gone blank)
What makes you run late: The kids
X-rays you've had done: Chest and hand
Yummy food you make: Hopefully whatever I make tastes yummy
Zoo animal: Smell lol
4.22.2013
Weekend Recap
Thursday
My sister in England had her baby, I was so excited about that and was anxiously waiting for some pictures so I could see what he looked like. I was happy that he was a healthy baby boy. I also spoke to my sister Ganiyat for a little while and caught up on a few more things. I cooked some chicken, mac & cheese with string beans. I really have been slacking cooking "real food" it feels like during the weekdays while I work I don't even have time to do that and also Malan had become very fussy with what she eats. We went to bed pretty early that night also because Marlan had work the next day.
Friday
Baby Marlan turned 5 months, I cant believe how fast time is flying by and how big he is getting, it really is upsetting to me for some reason how him and Malan are just growing right before our eyes. Today me and the kids were pretty much couch/ bed potatoes. I stayed on the couch for the majority of the day while Marlan was in work. Marlans little cousin Bookie came over to just chill because she was bored at home and wanted to get out of the house. It felt like I barley saw Malan all day today also, because she was in my room laying down for the most part of the day, I would go in there every once in a while to see if she needed anything and to bring her some food. I even went in and she was fast asleep.
Saturday
My friend Lindsey from work came over with her kids so we could hang out, she usually comes once every weekend but shes been pretty busy lately so she hasn't been over the past two weeks. We was chilling, talking, and watching the kids play and mess up the apartment. I was so excited today also because I made baby Marlan a bottle and I was holding it telling him to come get it to see what he would do. At first he was laying on his stomach then the next thing we know he pushed himself up into a sitting position. I was sitting there in shock like did he really just do this, I couldn't believe it and I didn't even have the camera. After that he drunk his bottle and was cool after that. We ordered some pizza hut for us and the kids, I had my plate on the floor and baby Marlan really "arm crawled" towards my plate, so I moved him back and went to get the camera so I could video him because this was the first time Ive seen him do this. He kept making his way towards my plate. I was so shocked and happy. My babies are growing up so quick its kind of sad
Sunday
I woke up to find Marlan sprawled out laying on my legs, smiled then laid back down and went to sleep. That's a shame I didn't even know he was laying on me, I didn't even hear him come in "last night", I must of been really tired. Today we all was being lazy for the most part, I had some sewing I wanted to do all weekend really and still by today I didn't get any of it done. Me, Marlan, Malan and baby Marlan was laying in bed really all day today you can say. I took a little nap before having to be at work later tonight.
Overall I had a good weekend with my family and enjoyed Lindsey and the kids coming over. Me and Marlan had the usual conversations we have, I guess I just cant "get over" a lot of things. I do love that man with all of me though!
My sister in England had her baby, I was so excited about that and was anxiously waiting for some pictures so I could see what he looked like. I was happy that he was a healthy baby boy. I also spoke to my sister Ganiyat for a little while and caught up on a few more things. I cooked some chicken, mac & cheese with string beans. I really have been slacking cooking "real food" it feels like during the weekdays while I work I don't even have time to do that and also Malan had become very fussy with what she eats. We went to bed pretty early that night also because Marlan had work the next day.
Friday
Baby Marlan turned 5 months, I cant believe how fast time is flying by and how big he is getting, it really is upsetting to me for some reason how him and Malan are just growing right before our eyes. Today me and the kids were pretty much couch/ bed potatoes. I stayed on the couch for the majority of the day while Marlan was in work. Marlans little cousin Bookie came over to just chill because she was bored at home and wanted to get out of the house. It felt like I barley saw Malan all day today also, because she was in my room laying down for the most part of the day, I would go in there every once in a while to see if she needed anything and to bring her some food. I even went in and she was fast asleep.
Saturday
My friend Lindsey from work came over with her kids so we could hang out, she usually comes once every weekend but shes been pretty busy lately so she hasn't been over the past two weeks. We was chilling, talking, and watching the kids play and mess up the apartment. I was so excited today also because I made baby Marlan a bottle and I was holding it telling him to come get it to see what he would do. At first he was laying on his stomach then the next thing we know he pushed himself up into a sitting position. I was sitting there in shock like did he really just do this, I couldn't believe it and I didn't even have the camera. After that he drunk his bottle and was cool after that. We ordered some pizza hut for us and the kids, I had my plate on the floor and baby Marlan really "arm crawled" towards my plate, so I moved him back and went to get the camera so I could video him because this was the first time Ive seen him do this. He kept making his way towards my plate. I was so shocked and happy. My babies are growing up so quick its kind of sad
Sunday
I woke up to find Marlan sprawled out laying on my legs, smiled then laid back down and went to sleep. That's a shame I didn't even know he was laying on me, I didn't even hear him come in "last night", I must of been really tired. Today we all was being lazy for the most part, I had some sewing I wanted to do all weekend really and still by today I didn't get any of it done. Me, Marlan, Malan and baby Marlan was laying in bed really all day today you can say. I took a little nap before having to be at work later tonight.
Overall I had a good weekend with my family and enjoyed Lindsey and the kids coming over. Me and Marlan had the usual conversations we have, I guess I just cant "get over" a lot of things. I do love that man with all of me though!
4.21.2013
4-18-13 Baby Noah
On 04/18/2013 my sister Modinat gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Noah. He was born at 12:12pm and weighed 5 pounds. I wish I could have been there with my sister but unfortunately she lives in England.
There is so much I wish I could have told her and so many things I did tell her and wish she had listened. Now shes in a situation where she is forced to be a single mother because the choices she made and the "man" she laid with. It hurts me that my sister is going through the things she has been through in these months alone. Out of 3 babies she ended up with one. I cant even come close to imagine how that makes her feel. I wish I could have been there for her during her whole pregnancy and even before. I pray that she finds the strength and growth to be the best parent she can be. As a big sister I would have never in a million years wanted my sister to be in the situation shes in. Don't get me wrong shes not alone because she has family members that may help her. I really pray as time goes on she saves and gets her own place where she can raise her son and that she can truly be happy and give him the childhood he deserves and also herself a wonderful experience with becoming a mother. I wish I could hold my nephew, kiss him and tell him how strong of a person his mother is. There's so much I could say but a lot of times I hold my tongue, my little sister means a lot to me and like I said to her go through what shes went through and knowing I could have potentially stopped it kills me everyday. I just pray and wish the best for her and baby Noah and make sure she makes the best decisions for the both of them not for others around her.
Thank you for blessing me with a nephew.
4.16.2013
Rambling
I've got so much to say but never know were to begin, it always seems like one thing after another. here I've got a man I love, the father of my children, someone I want to be with for the rest of my life, but yet I don't think he cares, feels the same way or is open to letting me in. I have been with him just over 3 years 4 months but it seems like were drifting apart or I'm being thrown in the corner. He says all these things bout females and how they lie and things like that. Yet I'm a female so does that mean he looks at me that way. It's always the same conversations being brought up and the same outcome almost all the time. Me ending up in tears. Like today he talks about my money and asks were its all going because he doesn't see anything I'm buying, yet it is easy to look at my statements and see exactly were its going. He talks about girls lying that they are on there cycle yet I can show him but he doesn't want to see. Its not my fault I bleed when I do or I discharge when I do. I am on a birth control that is new to me and also my body and no matter how many times I call the doctor they will tell me the same thing. I feel like I'm paying for everything all these females have done, yet I am the one standing by his side while he has done the things he has and lord knows if he is still doing them. I'm the one who works then comes home and make sure we have a clean house, I try cook as much as I can to make sure him and the kids eat well. I try keep things in order, yet I feel I'm STILL not good enough for this man. I don't know what more I can do to prove to him he is who I want to be with and spend the rest of my life with. Like I said its always one thing after another. Am I a bad person for spending money here and there because I want my kids to have the things I never did. Am I wrong for buying my daughter probably more toys than she needs because I love to see the look on her face and her so happy when she does play with them. Am I wrong for loving a man so much that I tend to loose myself and do what I can to make sure he is happy. Yet am I sacrificing my own happiness because I am to concerned on what is going on with him and taking all the foolery he says to heart. NOT because I am doing the things he says, but because this is a man I love and his opinion of me, his opinion in general really matters to me. If he sits there and calls females h*es and says how they lie and are sneaky, are you talking about me because I am a female. Yet a male sleeps around and its perfectly fine when he has a woman at home who is willing to do anything for him. I feel like I'm in a game and there's no way out, yet even if I had the key I wouldn't use it (doesn't make sense) I feel no matter what I do I will never be good enough for this man and he expects so much from me yet I am supposed to deal with how he is or I can hit the door. How is the man I love turning into someone I feel I don't know, or someone who I feel doesn't care for me. I love this man, i truly do and I don't plan on ever leaving him. I feel its wrong for me for wanting to spend time with him, yes we live together, but that doesn't mean we spend time together. We used to have Thursdays as "our day" were we would just relax and chill, watch a movie, I cook, just something to where we are together and he said that would always be our day. Now he started working, Thursday is just another "normal" day. It would be nice if he would have said okay you can have Friday, or even Saturday. Just one day is all I ask for, one day to spend time, I mean real time with me. One day I can feel appreciated for the things I do. Now don't get me wrong this man has done so much to help me and build me into a better and stronger woman. But when that man who has did that is also the one who can break me, I don't like that. This man is something else, that's all I can really say because after everything it seems there's always a new reason for why whatever is going on is going on. I'm ready to take this test to prove to him that I don't need to lie to him, yet when it gets brought up its another way he can speak negative and say things he doesn't need to. I hope after this test he will open his eyes and see whats in front of him. I'm not saying I'm the best person in the world or even perfect because I'm not, but also I'm not doing the things he says females do and I've not slept around or anything like that, while him on the other hand has these perfect "excuses" for why he does/did the things he did.
I don't know I just needed to let some things out, I have no one to talk to and even if I did I wouldn't know where to begin with everything that's going on inside my head. I just wish one day I can be with this man or should I say he can be with me and he can truly know I'm not these other females, I am myself and the shit I go through with him and for him isn't for no reason. I want to be with this man and I want him to be with me and ONLY me. I guess that's to much for me to ask after these years though. Even for our 3 year he brought me a ring which he took back for some odd reason, but hay, he brought it so its his right. I don't even want to keep rambling because I feel like I can go on forever and still wouldn't get nowhere.
When its good, I mean its good. When its bad, its bad and it takes what seems like forever to get back! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't know I just needed to let some things out, I have no one to talk to and even if I did I wouldn't know where to begin with everything that's going on inside my head. I just wish one day I can be with this man or should I say he can be with me and he can truly know I'm not these other females, I am myself and the shit I go through with him and for him isn't for no reason. I want to be with this man and I want him to be with me and ONLY me. I guess that's to much for me to ask after these years though. Even for our 3 year he brought me a ring which he took back for some odd reason, but hay, he brought it so its his right. I don't even want to keep rambling because I feel like I can go on forever and still wouldn't get nowhere.
When its good, I mean its good. When its bad, its bad and it takes what seems like forever to get back! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Weekend Recap
This weekend was pretty chilled and relaxed.
1. Me, Malan and baby Marlan camped out in the living room in Malans new tent/ball pit she got for her birthday. I downloaded a movie for her and cut up some cheese and a pear for us (which ended up being for the most part all hers lol). It was so nice to see how happy and excited she was because this was something new to her. Baby Marlan ended up falling asleep and shortly after that I did the same. I woke back up around maybe 12am and Malan was still up watching TV so I ended up turning the TV off and putting her in bed, then me and baby Marlan did the same.
2. We took Malan out to eat at the Indian buffet where we live. She was so happy she had her own big girl plate and she really enjoyed the food. Malan even snapped some pictures of us all :)
We was all stuffed after that buffet so we went home to call it a night.
3. I watched the last episode of Spartacus, and yes I was in tears. I kind of knew it was going to end the way it did but it was still super upsetting. I'm STILL waiting on Marlan to catch up on the last two episodes so we can talk about it.
4. I was supposed to have my sewing 102 class, I even called up there to make sure it was still on and they told me yes so I went up there brought my material and things, waited for another 20 minutes, then went to see what was going on. They ended up telling me the class was cancelled, I then had to wait another 30 minutes just to get my refund because they've a new system they still don't know how to work it yet.
1. Me, Malan and baby Marlan camped out in the living room in Malans new tent/ball pit she got for her birthday. I downloaded a movie for her and cut up some cheese and a pear for us (which ended up being for the most part all hers lol). It was so nice to see how happy and excited she was because this was something new to her. Baby Marlan ended up falling asleep and shortly after that I did the same. I woke back up around maybe 12am and Malan was still up watching TV so I ended up turning the TV off and putting her in bed, then me and baby Marlan did the same.
2. We took Malan out to eat at the Indian buffet where we live. She was so happy she had her own big girl plate and she really enjoyed the food. Malan even snapped some pictures of us all :)
3. I watched the last episode of Spartacus, and yes I was in tears. I kind of knew it was going to end the way it did but it was still super upsetting. I'm STILL waiting on Marlan to catch up on the last two episodes so we can talk about it.
4. I was supposed to have my sewing 102 class, I even called up there to make sure it was still on and they told me yes so I went up there brought my material and things, waited for another 20 minutes, then went to see what was going on. They ended up telling me the class was cancelled, I then had to wait another 30 minutes just to get my refund because they've a new system they still don't know how to work it yet.
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4.10.2013
Happy 2nd Birthday Malan
I remember when I first had you, held you in my arms, kissed you, cried for you, cried with you. That day in the hospital, I didn't know where life would take me or where I would even be, but I knew one thing for sure, I had to be strong for you and give you all the love I had. I knew you needed me just as much as I needed you. It was love at first sight and from that day I would love you more and more
Then 4/10/12 came and you turned 1, so much happened in that year, so many happy memories, so many memories I would like to forget. So much learning as a mother and growing as a woman. You helped me through a lot and seeing your face everyday made me stronger and made me want to be a better person. You enjoyed your birthday, me and daddy gave you a party in Chicago with your family a few days before your birthday, then on your actual birthday we took you to the movies and out to eat (ohh how you love to eat) After that we took you and your cousins to chuck e cheese, you loved the pizza there, not the games so much
Then today came and you turned 2, oh where did the time go. A few times today I had to catch myself holding back tears. My baby, isn't such a baby anymore, you need me less and less now. Its like I find it hard to accept your not such a baby anymore, your growing up, talking more, running around, playing and laughing more. You do things for yourself now and when you need me or daddy, you let us know. I love when you lay beside me, kiss my check and say "wove you" (love you), it warms my heart. I love laying down and trying to nap before work and you come in the room wanting to lay down with me. My baby, not such a baby no more
Today we waited until daddy was of work so you could open your gifts. When he came home you sat impatiently waiting, you even was trying to chew on the boxes to get them open while daddy took of his work clothes and put on his "house clothes". Finally you got to open your gifts and was so happy in doing so. It was so nice watching you play in your ball pit with your uncle Nate. I cant wait for this weekend so we can camp out in the living room, enjoy some food and movies. Seeing you smile so much today and be so happy makes everything worth it.
Me and daddy love you so very much and want nothing but the best for you. You baby brother loves you also. We all do, you will always be my baby no matter how big you get
Then 4/10/12 came and you turned 1, so much happened in that year, so many happy memories, so many memories I would like to forget. So much learning as a mother and growing as a woman. You helped me through a lot and seeing your face everyday made me stronger and made me want to be a better person. You enjoyed your birthday, me and daddy gave you a party in Chicago with your family a few days before your birthday, then on your actual birthday we took you to the movies and out to eat (ohh how you love to eat) After that we took you and your cousins to chuck e cheese, you loved the pizza there, not the games so much
Then today came and you turned 2, oh where did the time go. A few times today I had to catch myself holding back tears. My baby, isn't such a baby anymore, you need me less and less now. Its like I find it hard to accept your not such a baby anymore, your growing up, talking more, running around, playing and laughing more. You do things for yourself now and when you need me or daddy, you let us know. I love when you lay beside me, kiss my check and say "wove you" (love you), it warms my heart. I love laying down and trying to nap before work and you come in the room wanting to lay down with me. My baby, not such a baby no more
Today we waited until daddy was of work so you could open your gifts. When he came home you sat impatiently waiting, you even was trying to chew on the boxes to get them open while daddy took of his work clothes and put on his "house clothes". Finally you got to open your gifts and was so happy in doing so. It was so nice watching you play in your ball pit with your uncle Nate. I cant wait for this weekend so we can camp out in the living room, enjoy some food and movies. Seeing you smile so much today and be so happy makes everything worth it.
Me and daddy love you so very much and want nothing but the best for you. You baby brother loves you also. We all do, you will always be my baby no matter how big you get
4.08.2013
Weekend Recap: A little creative
I did my first "refashion" project with a dress I purchased from Goodwill, it turned out better than I expected for my first time. I hit a few bumps and made it harder than it actually was but in the end I loved the outcome. I will have to take a picture wearing it so you can see how it fits. Before it was really big, I took in both sides and also took in the sleeves so they would be fitted versus hanging of. I also added a cute little bow and threaded out the edges to make it look a little different
I also got back in the gym this weekend which was nice after not going for a while due to mother nature not being so much on my side. I can't forget that I also ordered some shoes offline and let me tell you I was pleasantly surprised how fast they got there and also how cute they were.
All and all I had a nice weekend... Every weekend is nice when I'm spending it with the ones I love though :)
Please excuse the "not so good" pictures. I quickly took them on my tablet
4.03.2013
Ouch, that hurts
So today after work I ended up calling the college I will be attending in May so that I could set up an appointment to get m TB test done. Lucky for me they let me come in at 9:30am. I spent like 20 minutes driving around trying to find the building then another 10 walking to the building from the car. Do you know how hard that is with a almost 2 year old and carrying a 16+ pound baby in his car seat *not cool, and to only sit in there for maybe 10 minutes the most.
After that I headed to one of the clinics where we live since they said they do walk ins and I got my hep b shot done. Boy did that hurt, I told Marlan now I know why babies cry. The actual shot didn't hurt but what ever was in there entering my arm stung a little. Now all I need to do is get the 2nd part of my TB test then my next 2 shots for hep b then I will be set to do the clinical part in college *Yay me
After that I headed to one of the clinics where we live since they said they do walk ins and I got my hep b shot done. Boy did that hurt, I told Marlan now I know why babies cry. The actual shot didn't hurt but what ever was in there entering my arm stung a little. Now all I need to do is get the 2nd part of my TB test then my next 2 shots for hep b then I will be set to do the clinical part in college *Yay me
4.02.2013
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